Kids make me sick

I don't know if there's some secret society of child rearers who, clothed in dark cloaks gather and plan our destruction. But I have some pretty high suspicions these people exist. My primary proof of this evil organization is that when people's kids are sick, they don't tell you that until you've picked them up and allowed them to breath on you. My best friend and his wife are members in good standing. After spending the better part of a day with him and his kids, one of whom i snuggled with while she fell asleep, he told me they had some weird thing where they had snotty noses and diahrea but nothing else. That's actually quite a bit, especially when you're running full out on a treadmill at the gym. Turns out in addition to those visible symptoms there are some pretty fantastic stomach cramps that the kids couldn't articulate.

These people wage war on us because they hate us or more precisely they hate our lack of responsiblity. The fact that I just went to the beach for the last three days on a whim insites demonic rage that only a campaign of biological warfare can satiate. They are winning this war people. If they can't go about willy-nilly doing as they wish why should we? What right have we to have fun when they're toiling on the next generation of people? Sadly, I know when my time comes, I'll join their rank and file and rain down sickness and pain aplenty on my unsuspecting single friends. What can I say? I'm a sheep also the benefits are amazing.