Peaceful but Oh So Boring (Now I know why I couldnt stand most of Utah)

I was totally going to post last week but I couldnt get around to it. I was actually busy at work. That hasnt happened since...I dont know May, early May. So its been nice to have something to occupy my time and my mind. I'm happy to say that last weeks low point has come to an end. As I said on a friends blog, I'm better then I've been in a year or so. I thought "maybe its just the juxtaposition of depression and normalness" but now I think its more then that. I havnt solved any of the issues that made me unhappy, or at least came into relief when I was unhappy. I still know I need to make decisions and I'm still not pleased with my current situation. But I feel ok about that....with the fact that I'm just kind of in a holding pattern right now. I can probably list some of the reasons I know of that I'm feeling better but I dont feel like it. I'd rather talk about some of the reasons I speculate why I'm feeling better.

Being busier at work could have something to do with it. Going day after day, week after week and not feeling like I've accomplished anything could really have gotten me down. I mean, on Saturday I went and put in two electrical sockets for my Aunt and I got the biggest sense of accomplishment. And putting in electrical sockets isnt that big of a deal. It takes all of ten minutes and a screw driver. Basically a trained monkey could do it. But doing something after doing nothing for a few months feels pretty good.

I started to go to institute again. After my summer hiatus(sp) classes started again last Thursday. It was so nice. And there were new people there, though sadly lacking in girls near my age. But there were lots of new guys, some converts and they're always fun to hang with. Also I'm going to General Conference in October. I'm trying to get tickets from as many people as I can. I've got my Bishop out fishing for them as well as my Stake president. Hopefully he'll get some from one of the 12 who is coming to our stake conference.

Rereading this post it has become apparent that when I'm relatively happy, I'm also pretty dang boring to read. Sorry about that. It would seem when I'm making progress spiritually that I lose some of my zing. That stinks huh?

I was talking on the phone with my buddy Derek a day or two ago and in the middle of our convo I got another call on the home phone so I set Derek down and picked up the call. Turns out some lady in my ward is making a bulliten(spelling SUCKS) board and wanted pics from during and after my mission. So I made polite convo with her and sent her on her way. I picked up the phone and Derek commented on how I had completely changed my dimeanor(I want to learn how to spell, someone please help me. Not knowing if I'm right or wrong is maddening) when I was talking to the lady. I readily agreed that I had. Though I didnt even notice it. My voice went up an octive and became positive, respectful and pleasing. It was wierd, and it makes me wonder how much I do that. I did it cause that's the way I need to appear to people at church. I think everyone does it. We're a version of oursevles. The version we think everyone needs to see so they dont see the parts of ourselves we hate. I guess that's ok. I know I wouldnt want to go around watching everyone let their huge personality and moral faults just hang out. At least this way we see something in other people to shoot for.

Though it does create a problem discering whether or not our friends or family are being honest with us in how they're doing. I know I try not to let on how I'm doing to my family. I'd just as soon they didnt know. Which is dumb. Anyways. I realized just now that I'm starting to get rambly, preachy and kind of deepish so I'm going to stop. I started out boring and skipped right over to mind numbing. I appoligize. Anywys, I'm going to try and get more work done. Hurray. Good lord I'm boring even I want to just click this window shut and go find a flash game.