Disenchantment and Selfish Blogging

I've decided that my blog, while occasionally entertaining and usually unimportant, needs some sort of gimmick. No ones reading this thing but you. You know who you are. Is that petty of me? To want someone besides my friends to read my blog? As dumb as it is, I have this silly need for someone besides just my friends to read my blog. Probably because even if it really really sucked they'd read it cause they're my friends. I remember when I had just barely began blogging (blogging ages should be done in dog years or something because they come and go so fast, a two year blog is roughly 45 years old in blog years) I used to really look forward to comments with a near Christmas morning type of anticipation. Now....comments are nice and all, and appreciated ever so much, but its just not fulfilling anymore. Jeez, I feel like I'm breaking up with my girlfriend or something. And I certainly dont want to offend my friends. I read their blogs, I comment, its a very mutually beneficial thing. But I miss the fun of it. Maybe that's what I'm saying, blogging has lost its novelty for me. It probably hit home when I was on the phone with someone and didnt want to explain the goings on because I had already put it on my blog and didn't want to to rehash it all.

That is simply unacceptable to me. I don't like calling up a friend and already knowing how their weekend was because I read all about it. It totally removes people from the connection they're supposed to make. Blog's may give insight or notions or allow for rants but what person doesn't do the same for their friends? How much more comforting is it knowing that there's someone actually physically listening to you then seeing some flat screen blast out electrons that form into words that someone may or may not be reading? It seems so 1984ish to me. Not horribly so but there's a shade and a shadow of the further isolation of people from other people.

Yet I'm not sure that I want to entirely give up blogging or reading blogs. It can be fun. It can be entertaining. It can be, even, maybe fulfilling to a degree?(I often wonder if people use my commas as I intend them to be used. Do they know when you read, especially outloud, you must pause at certain commas so that the author's inflection and ephasis comes out. Did you pause when you read it in your head? Or am I forced to use elipses?) Maybe what I need is purpose in my blog. At the moment I'm just writing whatever. I'm reporting mundane things. Occasionaly something really worthy of a post will pop up like old Kingpin and her dating schemes. But that stuff's once in a blue moon.

I'm not proposing some huge thing just a small change..er addition. It wouldnt even be a continuous every post thing. Just the occasional post. It probably wouldnt make my blog more popular. But it might mean more to me. And I guess blogging is a selfish act. Hmmm....does blogging contribute to selfishness? An interesting question. But maybe I can sidestep the selfishness of it occasionally and do something better. So I think I'll start to review books on my blog from time to time, as I finish them. I've got a list of four books I'm going to buy and then read. I'm currently working on IT. Stephen King's, in my opinion thus far, best book. Even rivaling the whole Dark Tower series. He absolutely grips you by reaching into your head, taking out the eleven year old in you and scarring it to death. The grizzly murders are NOT the scary part, in fact they're a kind of relief. The terror in the little Maine town of Derry is....guess you'll just have to wait till I finish the book.